In today’s highly connected world the ability to find love seems to be just a click away. Gone are the days of having to use sources such as church social groups, matchmaking services, and blind dates arranged via friends of friends. Today all you need to find that special someone is a device with an internet connection and an open mind. Of course, the reality of this type of love connection is that you may be quite a distance apart at first, and as we all know any type of long-distance relationship is hard. With an online relationship, however, there is also the added issue of knowing if the relationship is actually real.
The truth is that there are many people out there who are looking for love online, but there are also just as many who are looking for a connection for less than altruistic reasons. Some may be looking for an easy mark for financial gain, others still may be playing emotional games just for the fun of it. There are even those who may be looking for a real connection but not for anything mutually benefiting, but merely someone to be codependent on, whom they can dump all of their baggage on while some individuals may be using the internet to have a digital affair. So now that you have found someone online who you are in a relationship with, how can you be sure that the online relationship is real? Let’s look at some points to evaluate.
A Real Online Relationship Still Involves Romance
Just because a relationship is online doesn’t mean that there isn’t a way to find opportunities to engage in romance. Shared movie nights via phone, candlelight dinners over Skype, and romantic gestures delivered via email and instant messenger are all ways romance can happen online. If you have been in this relationship with someone for a while and romance isn’t blooming, then it might not be a real relationship.
A Real Online Relationship is about Connections, not Money
While generosity is great if the relationship is just about money on the part of the other party, then this is a good sign that you should steer clear. If a casual mention of a hardship or need comes up and you wish to pursue it, then that’s up to you, but the other party should never openly be asking you for such. This is especially true right at the start of a relationship, or if the amount is large or happens often. While the heart may be generous use wise decision making when it comes to that generosity.
A Real Online Relationship is Leading Toward More
If the relationship is real, then it will eventually get to t appoint where it will naturally start to expand into the direction of becoming more. Talk of trips to meeting in person, mutual vacations, couple retreats, and shared holidays will come up. If the relationship progresses far enough talk of marriage or cohabitation may come up. While it is true that at first, some may be hesitant to head toward these subjects eventually, they must be approached. If after a long period your relationship isn’t going this way, then it’s possible it might not be real, or at the least, it might not be worth continuing.
A Real Online Relationship is More than Just Online
This could also be stated as “A Real Online Relationship is Consistently Transparent& Grows”. This means that your online relationship should expand at some point to a relationship that involved phone calls, texts, video chats, and mailing of items back and forth. This helps to establish that the other person is real and is committed to being engaging with you on a deeper and more connective level. If your online relationship is just that, online, then you may want to broach the subject of expanding it to involve real-world interaction. If the other side refuses to let you know anything about them such as where exactly where they work, where they live, their mailing address, or their phone number, even after weeks or months, this is a sign of a false relationship. If confronted with the idea of losing you they relent, you are back on the right track. if not, even if the relationship was real, it more than likely wasn’t going anywhere.
Keeping these points in mind can help you determine the validity of a romantic relationship that is primarily online. The best pointer is this, however; use your gut. If your digital relationship doesn’t feel right, ask the other party about it, talk to them about your feelings. If they listen and make adjustments great, if not then it might be time to log off from the relationship and move on.
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